I’ve always been a bit hypoglycemic, or to put it another way, when I am really hungry I get grumpy. Normally I am known to be cheerful and fun-loving, always ready for a good time. My little secret, though, is that when travelling or on an irregular schedule, I almost always make sure to carry a snack — a bag of peanuts, a candy bar—something to raise the blood sugar level if necessary.
In about 1969 there occurred one of the few examples, described here, where I forgot to bring a snack. How many weddings have you attended when you weren’t swamped with appetizers, canapes, sandwiches, desserts, cake, waiters and waitresses going around offering you little bites of this or that?
I was warned in advance that this was going to be the best wedding ever. All our family members were going to be there. People were coming to Sausalito, California from all over the country, especially from the Midwest where most of our family grew up. I was living in Santa Monica at the time, so just hopped on the one-hour flight from LAX to San Francisco and took a taxi to the wedding site. My flight was around noon, so I missed lunch and the flight was too short for any drink or snack service.
My sister, Marilyn, told me in advance about her friend Tom, the photographer, who was going to attend. “Jim, you’ve just got to meet Tom! I promise you, he is the funn-iest guy in the world. His jokes get people rolling on the floor and they just won’t stop. I’m already laughing just thinking about it. I’ve always wanted to get you two guys together cause I know you’re really going to hit it off.”
I said Hello to all the family and old friends and tried to mingle and be sociable. The wedding ceremony would be at 4 PM outdoors on the cliff top overlooking the Bay. It was a gorgeous day, and the view over the Bay was breathtaking. The spacious rooms were filled with tables and chairs but no food in sight. Perhaps they had served lunch for the early arrivals.
The bar was open and most people were having drinks. I knew better than to drink on an empty stomach so I found a comfortable chair and sat down at one of the tables surrounded by friends and family. I assumed that sooner or later some kind of food or at least snacks would appear, and was willing to wait patiently. If I’d had my car, I would have been off like a shot to the nearest fast food restaurant, but in this case I felt powerless — a captive.
Perhaps it was starting to show on my face. I can be stoic. When in pain I normally try to think of something else and simply tough it out. “Why didn’t I bring a candy bar?” I kept asking myself. Maybe I stopped talking and looked down at the floor. I need to be left alone in my misery.
Somebody asked, “Jim, are you all right?” I said, “Yeah, I’ll be Okay, just a little hungry.”
Now it was time for the marriage ceremony. We all went outside. The groom was tall and handsome. The bride was tall and beautiful. The bridesmaids and groomsmen looked fabulous. The music was just right. The ceremony was very tasteful. “Why is it taking so long?” I asked myself.
When it was over we went back inside and I went back to my chair, still waiting for the food. Somebody came over and touched my shoulder. “Is everything OK, Jim?” I squeezed out a crooked grin and said, “Yes, no problem.”
Now I could hear people talking about me in muffled voices.
“Jim’s in a bad mood.” “What’s the matter with Jim?”
Some time later: “Have you heard about Jim?
He’s in a bad mood.” “Jim’s not enjoying himself. What’s his problem?”
Enter my sister Marilyn and Tom. She gave Tom a very long introduction. They went way, way back, and Oh, What Fun they had, as Marilyn laughed out loud, tossing back her hair. Then she gave Tom an introduction about me and all the cute stunts I’d done in my life, like way back when I laid claim to the title of ”Mad Bomber of Minneapolis.”
Now I had a chance to talk one on one with Tom. I tried to bring him out. What are his interests? What excites him? Nothing. I soon concluded that Tom was the shallowest, dumbest, least funny person I’d ever met.
The buzz continued. “What’s the matter with Jim?” “Jim’s in a bad mood.” Everybody was talking about me.
Eventually they brought out some food and I was rescued, back to my lovable self. Looking back on the incident, I realized that without meaning to, I had become the center of attention at the wedding.
Remember, you too can hijack any social event without even trying—just be yourself.
Jim Sudmeier
Luck, WI
June. 24, 2020